Thursday, May 26, 2005

Yesterday, or days ago, I was enjoying the post-graduation bliss of no homework, no classes, no tests, and the affirmation of a graduate diploma (that makes TWO! but who's counting). The universe does not like to see too much happiness in one place. Thus, on Sunday evening, while enjoying a lovely dinner in honor of my academic achievement, I recieved THE call. My mother has "Lifeline," a.k.a "help I've fallen and i can't get up." They called to let me know the ambulance was taking her to the hospital after a fall in the kitchen. Seven hours later she had her own room on the second floor and surgery scheduled for the next day.

Lesson no. one: Never believe anything they tell you in the hospital.

The first surgeon to speak with us in the E.R. explained that due to my mother's recent congestive heart failure, she would have to be assesed before surgery. "My mother has NEVER had congestive heart failure," I said firmly. "That's what it says in the chart," he replied. So, I explained to him that she fell on the right side and broke the same leg/hip parts two years ago, recovered well and had been good health since then. AND, more importantly, the surgeon who put Humpty Dumpty together two years ago would do the same this time. At the mere mention of the other surgeon's name, Dr. Wrong was on his way out the door.

The nurse on the second floor said surgery would be in the morning.
But it was delayed.
Then, it was rescheduled for the next day.
But five minutes later, they opened an O.R. and she went right up without delay.

I told them to NOT give her the narcotic pain meds they gave her two years ago. Nurse: "I'll only give her half a dose." I warned her that the effects would not be pleasant fo anyone, particulary the P.T folks. But she gave it to her anyway.

Later, when my mother was traveling back and forth between planets, I said, "Call the doctor and order new pain meds." Mother remained on a distant planet.

The next day, I checked and new meds had been ordered. Mother is on earth sometimes and Pluto at other times. They've taken her to the basement where there are the same odd squares on the ceiling (the ceiling tiles) and gave her blood while the nurse and the nurse's Mexican parents stood by and watched. Two years ago, they took her blood and sold it!!

My mother thinks she's at home, and that we have remodeled her house to look like a hospital.

I am not enjoying the hospital visits. I do not look forward to the rehab facility. This is another summer from hell.

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